COLUMNIST LUCY KELLAWAY竟然在FT開了一個類似“金夫人信箱” 之類的物體﹐跟人提供人事工作上的意見。她也會邀請所有讀者一起發表看法。

昨天的問題﹐來自一位年過三十五的律師。他的問題如下﹕

I did not grow up wanting to be a lawyer, I just ended up there because I had good grades and was attracted to the big salary. I left everything in my early 30s and travelled the world for two years, but then I had to come back to law-related work to pay the mortgage. Now I’m in my late 30s and desperately want to do something meaningful. But I have obligations, have acquired a lifestyle. So I lack the courage to change completely, to give up the big salary, even though I know I could be much happier living another life…but how to get there? Lawyer, male, 30s, London

有一位銀行家﹐以他差不多三十年的工作經驗﹐建議這位律師重新捲起衣袖﹐再次投入現時工作。他以為﹐在三十歲這樣的黃金時期﹐離開工作崗位﹐環遊世界﹐一定會給將來的僱主一個很壞的印象。況且﹐才工作了幾年光陰﹐便能在世界漫遊兩年﹐回來後一定會感到失去方向。唯有重頭開始﹐方是解決眼前和未來問題的方法。這位賓架說﹐IN OTHER WORDS﹐GROW UP。

另有一位六十歲的老人家跟大家分享他的經驗。原來﹐十年前﹐他便作了一個很大的決定﹕放棄一份高薪優差﹐全身投入攝影上面。那時候﹐朋友都笑他傻﹑笑他瘋。不過﹐他堅持己見﹐相信ART IS NOTHING WITHOUT CCONTEXT AND THE CONTEXTI S COMMITMENT。經過十年努力﹐他以為自己算是略有成就﹐心靈總算找到一點安寧。所以﹐他叫那位律師不好理會那條BUNGEE CORD有沒有繫緊﹐只管無悔地從萬丈高臺跳下去。

也有些讀者提議他建立一個家庭﹐甚至生一個小孩。因為他的MORTGAGE將會因此變得有意義。一位過來人同意他應該娶一位律師。便是因為她嫁了給律師行的PARTNER﹐她才能離開法律界﹐依賴著老公的厚祿﹐在商場上創立起自己的生意來。

提供意見的人﹐最年輕的也過了四十。憑著20年的工作經驗﹐那些提議當然有可取的地方。不過﹐就算是多麼有見地的建議﹐也該只能做個參考。因為這是我自己的生命﹐那是他們的生命。我永遠不會是他﹐他也永遠不會是我。我常以為﹐走著別人走過的路的人是在浪費生命。要知道﹐世上根本不需要兩個他﹐也不需要兩個你。世界精彩美麗﹐因為有著各式各樣的人和事。不同的人跟不同的事﹐互相走在一起﹐方能產生另外一些更美麗﹑更精彩的東西。A+B=C﹐A+D=E。而A+A其實都是A。都離不開那個困局。

所以﹐聽取別人意見的時候﹐除了尊重個人的選擇外﹐我們更要清楚那些人下決定時﹐想過什麼﹐遇過什麼﹐聽過什麼。什麼決定其實都不重要。最重要的是那背後的想法﹕為什麼這樣決定。因此﹐我覺得克夫人的意見的確值得細讀。

You say you want your work to be “meaningful”. I cannot think of any work I would describe that way, expect possibly farming, teaching and nursing. All office work fails this test horribly.

Your predicament says more about you than about your job – I suspect you are generally fed up with life. When I get depressed journalism seems pointless; once I perk up the job starts to seem better too.

You need to ask yourself other, more practical things about the law. Are you good at it? Do you actually hate it? If so, why? And, most importantly, what else could you do that you would like better?

This is where you come unstuck. As you do not seem to have a fantasy (mine is about teaching maths), you would do better not to change career, but change your attitude towards it instead.

If you insist on clinging to your (optimistic) view that you would be happier in another job, try this. For the next six months live like a pauper on your handsome salary. And in every minute of spare time, actively research the other things you could do. Use your legal background to work for an NGO or do legal aid work, or retain as a barrister. Or consider something else altogether: become an organic ostrich farmer.

If an idea takes root, use your savings and do it. If not, make the best of your present job. Stop asking yourself what it means or whether you are happy. Find other nice things to do when you are not working and try to enjoy the money. And if you cannot enjoy it, give it to charity.

也許﹐你沒有什麼共鳴。因為你幸運﹐沒有遇到這樣荒謬的難題。可我是讀完再讀﹐想過又想的。

希望我現在是走對了路。至少﹐我有回一個目標。