在《一人觀眾》裡﹐丘世文講過﹐要明白OFFICIALESE的涵義﹐查百本字典也不如看一集英國電視劇YES﹗MINISTER來得那樣傳神會要。

非常同意這個說法。

那是一部我很喜歡的電視劇。

猶記得﹐SIR HUMPHREY那經典的一句﹕

It is characteristic of all committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them,
and that every member's recollection of them differs violently from every other member's recollection;
consequently we accept the convention that the official decisions are those and only those which have been officially recorded in the minutes by the officials;
from which it emerges with elegant inevitability, that any decision which has been officially reached would have been officially recorded in the minutes by the officials,
and any decisions which is not recorded in the minutes by the officials has not been officially reached,
even if one or more members believe they can recollect it;
so in this particular case, if the decision would have been officially reached,
it would have been recorded in the minutes by the officials and it isn't so it wasn't.

對﹗這的確才只是一句。

他振振有詞卻委與虛蛇﹐咬文嚼字卻不知所云﹐嚴重緊張的局面被巧言委曲說成若無其事﹐追究責任的情況也被敷推搪弄得查無實據。香港官員想學人擺官腔﹐還是請多看點以前那個宗主國的電視劇罷。

對於那些出色的電視劇﹐英國廣播公司都會出版書籍﹐好讓大家能夠經常容易欣賞。多年前﹐商務印書局春季減價的時候﹐我便一口氣買下了YES﹗MINISTER和YES﹗PRIME MINISTER兩本書。讀著那些遣詞造句﹐不得不感嘆英國官僚遣詞造句的功力。

來到愛爾蘭後﹐在一次WATERSTONE書局大減價的時候﹐我又買了一本BBC出版的電視劇書。那部電視劇﹐叫GRUMPY OLD MAN。也是一部很好笑的電視劇。(單看劇名﹐也猜得到故事內容罷。)

裡面有這樣的一段描述﹕

The world is full of electronic bleeping. It's everywhere. Our lives are ruled by it. Bleeping when you set your microwave or unlock your car. Bleeping when you send a text......I mention it because today I was so busy looking for my mobile phone that I was nearly knocked over by the dustcart......

我想起﹐丘世文也有一篇類似的文章。題目是「電話的專橫」。那是一篇刊登於1996年11月3日《明報》的文章。

文中最後一段﹐他寫道﹕

我重視私己時間的安寧﹐至今仍然不肯攜帶無線電話。